How to Go From Type A to Type B
Wanna know how to keep your daily frusterations in check? Follow these simple painless ideas!
Write Your Memoirs
Carry a small notebook with you for a week and jot down every annoyed, angry, and aggressive thought. Not just moments when you're truly mad, but all your vaguely hostile or critical feelings. This hostility log (okay maybe a small notebook won't do) will make you more self-aware and able to detect patterns.
Be a Thought-Stopper
The moment you become aware of having a pointless, hostile thought about an unimportant situation over which you have no control, short-circuit it by actually shouting, "STOP!" This is surprisingly effective in getting rid of inappropriate angry feelings.
Think of Sex
Your consciousness has a hard time focusing on two subjects at once. When you feel yourself getting annoyed, try out that little Johnny Depp fantasy you have. ;o)
Cut Smokes, Cokes, Coffees, and Cakes
The less dependence on nicotine, caffeine, and sugar, the greater the chance of conquering hostility.
What, You Worry?
I hear the voices, too. You know the ones I mean. They nudge you awake in the middle of the night, sounding perhaps vaguely like your mother, or your former boss, an ex-boyfriend, or that evil girl from freshman year. They gnaw at your confidence (you're not good enough), prey on your insecurities (you said what??), and make you fear the worst about the future (it's all going to end horribly...).
Life isn't always easy. But many of the things we fret about, from small insecurities to big, ugly fears actually have simple solutions. How simple? Keep reading. Then finally start enjoying the peace and quiet in your head...
Am I ever going to fit into my "skinny jeans" again?
Damn straight you will. But you have to get over the notion that Big Helpings of Cardio + Tiny Portions of Food= Thin. The key to losing weight is to build muscle so skipping meals or weights is not the answer. To get skinny-jeans lean, commit yourself to two 30-minute strength sessions a week, and a diet of 1,200 to 1,500 calories spread throughout the day. The idea is to never feel hungry.
Does my best friend secretly call me a bitch behind my back?
Women are conditioned to be good girls-and to avoid confrontation. This can lead to duplicity and refusal to take responsibility. You may only know when your friend has a problem with you when you hear it from someone else. If your friend is throwing around the b-word, help rebuild trust with these:
- PUT YOUR CLAWS AWAY Both sides may need to do some apologizing. Self-righteousness will block you from saying sorry, too.
- VERIFY SHE SAID IT Tell her exactly what you heard she said, then how it made you feel (angry, hurt, confused, etc.) More than likely, she didn't say it or it was taken out of context.
- AFFIRM THE RELATIONSHIP Conflict does not mean a social apocalypse. Peppering the chat with nice-isms like "I love you" or "This friendship really means a lot to me" will alleviate the fear in the female DNA that conflict means terminating the friendship.
- PUT HER ON NOTICE Women go into denial. Withought being aggressive, be very clear about the recourse if an affront happens again. "I'll take your word for it this time, but if it happens again, it's going to be very hard for me to know what's the truth and what isn't."
Am I Good in Bed?
Well, let me see...do you have a bed? Is there a man in it? Do you occasionally have sex with that man? Congratulations, you are officially good in bed! The whole idea of thinking whether you are good or bad in bed is purely thinking like a woman. Men are just delighted that women are willing to have sex with them. Dr. Drew says nothing turns a man on more than the idea that he's turning you on, so if what he is doing feels great- let him know it with all the verve, energy, and playfulness you can muster.
Will I Ever Be Able to Afford my Dream Home?
You spy a house you love, see the price- and freak! How do people afford this? The truth: They don't. At least not when they're buying their first house. They key to getting your dream home is to buy a first home, and then let the market- and equity- go to work for you. Once you own a home it appreciates and you can leverage that to buy a bigger, better home.
- GET A FISCAL PHYSICAL Set up an appointment with a certified financial planner. Like any good coach, a planner will give you advice- and motivation- you need to reach your goals.
- STOP THROWING MONEY AWAY Firgure out exactly what you want and what you can afford. If you skip your tall soy latter ($3) and brown bag your lunch ($7), within a year you dream-home savings fund will be roughly $2,500 strong on those savings alone.
- HOOK UP WITH HUD The US Department of Housing and Urban Development's American Dream Downpayment Initiative offers qualifying first-time homebuyers as much as $10,000 in assistance! Check out their website to see if you qualify!
Do my Coworkers Hate Me Because I Say What I Think?
Wait, you don't always say what you think? You should start, because it will probably get you promoted. You earn people's respect when your straightforward.
- BE BRIEF People like candor and honesty, but not if it goes on for 25 minutes. This is especially true with your boss. Treat meetings with him/her like shark-infested waters: Make a big splash, but get the hell out before he/she eats you alive.
- ASK THEIR OPINION Invite others to respond. "I feel strongly that this whole computer thing is not just a fad, but I'd like to hear what all of you think."
- GO POSITIVE If your boss dumps something on you, don't say, "I hate your last minute assignments." But instead say, "The Ferguson report will be great, but I'll need until Tuesday to make sure it's as thorough as you want."
Am I Smart Enough?
What is smart, anyway? There are plenty of overeducated derelicts (heck, I've dated some), but smart actually comes in a bunch of flavors. Which type of intelligence do you best match up with? Linguistuc? Inter/intrapersonal? Naturalist? Bodily-kinesthetic?
So, calm those nerves and destress a little bit, will ya?? Things could always be worse... Make sure you live a stress-free, calm, friendly life...on your own two feet...
Until the next step bloggers...